Women's Stories

At 42, I was running a team of 15 engineers, managing multiple projects, and suddenly couldn't remember what I'd said in a meeting 20 minutes ago. I'd walk into the conference room and completely forget why I was there. My colleagues noticed. I started panicking — was this early-onset dementia?

Then came the anxiety. I'd been a confident person my entire career, and suddenly I was second-guessing every email, every decision. I couldn't sleep properly. I'd wake up drenched in sweat at 2 AM and lie there with racing thoughts until dawn.

My regular doctor told me it was "just stress" and to take a vacation. A friend finally suggested I look into perimenopause. I was shocked — I thought menopause happened at 50-something!

Once I understood what was happening, everything changed. I adjusted my diet — more protein, less sugar, more water. I started strength training three times a week. The brain fog lifted within a month. I still have days, but now I know it's not forever, and I know what to do.

The biggest lesson? Perimenopause can start in your early 40s, and brain fog and anxiety are often the first signs — not hot flashes.

I started getting hot flashes at 47. In the middle of cooking, I'd suddenly feel like I was standing inside the oven. At night, I'd soak through my nightgown. My husband thought the AC was broken because I kept turning it down to 18 degrees.

But what really affected me was the mood swings. I'd snap at my children over nothing, then cry for an hour feeling guilty. My mother-in-law said, "This is what happens at this age. Your mother went through it too. Just adjust."

I didn't want to "just adjust." I started reading, talking to other women, and slowly realised that millions of us go through this — but nobody talks about it. In our culture, you're expected to be strong and silent. I decided to be strong and informed instead.

I changed my entire kitchen — more ragi, more green vegetables, more dahi, less sugar, less maida. I started walking every morning at 5:30 AM before the household woke up. I joined a yoga class. Within three months, the hot flashes reduced from 8–10 a day to 2–3.

The mood swings didn't disappear completely, but I learned to recognise them for what they are — hormonal, not personal. I am not failing. My body is changing, and I can work with it.

My periods stopped at 49. By 50, I was dealing with everything — joint pain that made climbing stairs difficult, weight gain that appeared from nowhere (I was eating the same food!), and a constant feeling of exhaustion. I genuinely felt like my body had betrayed me.

The worst part was feeling invisible. As a teacher, I'd always been energetic and engaging. Suddenly, I was dragging myself through classes. My students noticed. My colleagues noticed. I felt ashamed.

What turned things around was understanding that menopause affects every system in your body — it's not just hot flashes and missed periods. My joint pain was linked to declining oestrogen. My weight gain was because my metabolism had shifted. My fatigue was because I wasn't sleeping properly, because of night sweats, because of hormones.

I started a structured program: strength training twice a week (which I'd never done before!), protein at every meal, calcium-rich foods for my bones, and a proper sleep routine. At 51, I'm stronger than I was at 45. I can climb stairs without wincing. I've lost the weight I gained.

My advice to every woman approaching menopause: Don't wait for symptoms to overwhelm you. Prepare, educate yourself, and seek support early.

At 44, I was seeing three different doctors. A dermatologist for my suddenly dry, thinning hair. A psychiatrist for anxiety and insomnia. And my GP for weight gain and fatigue. Each one treated their symptom in isolation. Nobody connected the dots.

It was a casual conversation with a colleague — another working woman in her 40s — that changed everything. She said, "Deepa, have you considered this might be perimenopause?" I almost laughed. I was 44! My periods were still coming (though admittedly erratic).

I started researching and was amazed to find that hair changes, anxiety, sleep problems, weight gain, and irregular periods are all connected — all driven by the same hormonal shifts. I didn't need three specialists. I needed one person who understood the full picture.

The juggle of work, kids, and ageing parents was already exhausting. Adding perimenopause on top felt cruel. But once I had the right guidance — a holistic plan that addressed nutrition, exercise, sleep, and mental health together — things started improving.

I'm still in perimenopause. I still have tough days. But I no longer feel like I'm falling apart. I have a plan, I have support, and I understand my body. That makes all the difference.

I'm 55, and I went through menopause at 50. Those five years in between were tough — the worst was the loneliness. Nobody around me talked about it. My friends were going through it too, but we all suffered silently, each thinking we were the only ones.

I wish someone had told me at 45 what I know now. I wish I'd started strength training earlier — my bone density scan at 52 was a wake-up call. I wish I'd paid attention to my protein intake instead of just eating idli-dosa every day. I wish I'd talked to someone about the sadness instead of dismissing it as weakness.

But here's the beautiful part: it's never too late. At 55, I started lifting light weights. I changed my diet. I started walking 6,000 steps every day. I joined a group of women going through similar experiences. My energy is back. My bone density is improving. I play with my granddaughter without getting exhausted.

Post-menopause can be a wonderful time. The hot flashes eventually stopped. No more periods to worry about. My mood stabilised. I have time for myself for the first time in decades.

To younger women reading this: Take menopause seriously. Prepare for it. But don't fear it. The other side is genuinely good — especially if you invest in your health now.