What Causes Pain During Intimacy?
Dyspareunia (pain during sexual intercourse) becomes more common during and after menopause. The pain can range from mild discomfort to significant enough to avoid intimacy altogether. It may be felt at the vaginal opening, deeper inside, or both.
Why Does This Happen?
As oestrogen declines, the vaginal walls become thinner, drier, and less elastic. Natural lubrication decreases. The tissues become more fragile and prone to small tears during friction. This makes intercourse uncomfortable or painful. Over time, if intimacy is avoided, the vaginal canal can narrow further, compounding the problem.
How Common Is This?
Up to 45% of postmenopausal women report pain during sex. Yet fewer than 25% discuss it with their doctor. In India, cultural taboos around discussing sexual health make this number even lower.
What You Can Do
- Water-based lubricants — use generously during intimacy
- Regular vaginal moisturisers — applied 2–3 times per week to maintain tissue health
- Extended foreplay — allows more time for natural lubrication
- Regular sexual activity — maintains blood flow and tissue health
- Pelvic floor exercises — improve blood flow and reduce tension
- Communication — talk openly with your partner about what feels comfortable
- Different positions — some may be more comfortable than others
- Relaxation techniques — anxiety about pain can cause muscle tension, worsening the problem
When to Seek Help
If lubricants and moisturisers aren't providing enough relief, a doctor can discuss additional options. There are effective treatments available, and no woman should accept painful intimacy as an inevitable part of ageing.